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You must be at least 2% smarter than the object you are working with.

Never let dumb horny men drive.

Don't stick your finger in a tuba valve when your finger is larger than the valve opening.

EAT LIKE THERE'S NO TOMORROW!!!

It's easier to ask forgiveness than ask permission.

Practice makes perfect, but no one is perfect, so why practice?

Information is the cure for ignorance. But if you're just stupid, you're outta luck.